“Phil was impressed by the new trainees’ desire to work – not everyone volunteered to hold the flip calendar.”
– Alun Rundle, Newport, South Wales, UK

“The Doc’ gave me thith prethcripthion againtht my lithp, but I don’t think it’th working.”
– Tiger T

“Can you calculate the total for me? I’m a cobra, not an adder.”
– Melkior, Victoria, Australia

“Well, the bill seems OK, but you know I’m a lousy adder”
– Valerie Falconer, Penarth, Wales, UK

“I was told this is to detoxify my body. Is that safe??”
– Max Goof, Dublin, Ohio, USA

“Prescription for Aricept … fangs for the memories…”
Tristan Black Wolf, Syracuse, New York, USA

“I wanted to pick up a few fang-you notes.”
– John Reynolds, Concord, California, USA

“It’th right on the tip of my tongue…”
– Michelle Gaudette, Medway, Massachusetts, USA

“Please tell me I’m immune to my own poison! I bit my tongue when I saw your bill!”
– Phil McCarty, Gaithersburg, Maryland, USA

“I bit my tongue.”
Timmie, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, USA

“Our secretary’s real near-sighted, you see. So there I was by the stapler …”
– Dave Neil, Idaho Falls, Idaho

“Ith to help control my lipth.”
– Kim Squire, Scarborough, Ontario, Canada

“It’s a layoff notice. Jenner is replacing the cartoon.”
M Henry, Reidsville, North Carolina, USA

“…for a course of small-squealing-rodent replacement patches.”
– Jenner